Starship Act 1 Part 3

The Starship Rangers have landed! When Science Officer February of the Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration Starship Ranger Corp. comes to Bug-World, it will never be the same!

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"Starship" copyright 2011 StarKid Productions

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Closed Caption:

*Music plays*
wuh wuh wuh wuh
FEBRUARY: Mission log. Officer February of the Galactic League, Starship Ranger Corps
Starship 15-A-2
After X number of years in space,
we have reached the uncharted alien world, and are now prepping for human colonization
Upon arriving in an exploration pod, it appears as though the planet's surface is stable
and there seem to be no signs of intelligent lifeforms anywhere
I will now analyze the air to see if it's breathable
*scanner makes beeping noises*
FEBRUARY: Hm. Uh... contains copious amounts of "oxy-gen"
But, I think I should be okay
I will now remove my helmet
Ha! Let record that I'm super ahead of schedule.
As the ship's head shy-ence officer, I will now scout the surrounding areas, looking for any and all signs of-
*insect noise* *owl hoots*
Mission log
I think I just heard a spooky noise
and against my basic instincts, and everything that I learned at the Academy Training Camp
I will now approach the noise for further investigation
Alright, noise!
On behalf of the Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration,
I demand you to show yourself!
INSECT: Pika pi!
FEBRUARY: AAAAAHHHH!!
YOU ARE THE CUTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!!
Mission log. Total plot twist,
That creepy noise I thought I heard turned out to be the cutest f-ing noise I've ever seen.
Mission log
Get out! There are more of them!
My stars! I seem to have landed in a field of these am-i-nals
Hi! And what's your name?
*INSECT makes gurgling noise*
FEBRUARY: Oh, I'm February
Mission log. I've successfully made contact with the planet's indigenous lifeforms.
And they are ultra friendly
In my professional opinion, this planet is ready for human colonization by
this afternoon
That is, if that's alright with all of you
*INSECTS murmur in agreement*
FEBRUARY: Oh, I'm so glad to hear it
You see
Today is a really big day for me
Can I tell you guys something?
See, you might not believe this,
But this is my first mission
INSECTS: Oh!
FEBRUARY: Yeah. It's my chance to prove to everyone back home that
I am smart enough to get the job done
And, you know, back at the Academy,
I finished last in my class
But it wasn't my fault! I mean, how did they expect me to pass all those tests
if I didn't know any of the answers?
But being here with all of you guys
It just really makes me feel like I'm doing something great
FEBRUARY: Oh, hello!
INSECT: TOTORO!!
FEBRUARY: Are you alright?
*VEETO and INSECTS shouting*
FEBRUARY: HOLY SHIT! IT'S A BUG!!
*MOSQUITO BROS laughing*
FEBRUARY: AAAHHH!!!
NEATO: Was that thing what I thought that thing was?
VEETO: I don't know, but we better get it back to the boss. Come on!
*music*
CALLER: So, first day being a Wrangler Bug, huh?
INSECT: Yeah. I just got assigned this morning.
CALLER: Hey, why the long slime hole?
INSECT: Well, I just really had my dorsal tube set on being Nourishment
CALLER: Oh, I see
Hey! Well did you know that every egg in our swarm starts out by parasitically gestating in one of these mammals?
And who do you think wrangles those mammals?
INSECT: *gasp* Mammal Wranglers?
CALLER: Ha! That's right! The whole process starts with us
So, you still thing being a Wrangler is lame?
INSECT: No. Now I think it's kinda neat
CALLER: Yup, it sure is
Now come on. Let's go
INSECT: Oh boy!
*laughter*
FEBRUARY: Starship 15-A-2!
Come in, Starship 15-A-2!
I need evac. There are hostile, icky bugs down here
VEETO: Ugh, where'd it go?
NEATO: Yeah, where'd it go?
SWEETHEART: Me thinks it went that-a-way
VEETO: I'm with you
FEBRUARY: Whew
CALLER: Alright, are you ready? Now, the first thing you're gonna wanna do is lay down a base coat of slime
Go for it
INSECT: BLERGH!
FEBRUARY: FML!!
INSECT: Hey, mister.What are all them weird noises coming out of its mouth parts?
CALLER: Hey, we don't talk to 'em. We just wrangle 'em.
Now here's a tip
Go ahead and secrete a nice, thick layer of mucus onto the mammal's eyes to temporarily blind it.
We find this relaxes the mammal
INSECT: BLERGH! -FEBRUARY: HELP! HELP ME! AHH!
CALLER: Wow. You're doing great
Are you sure this is your first wrangle?
INSECT: You're just sayin' that
CALLER: Hey. I don't just say stuff
Now come on. Let's get her back to the hive.
FEBRUARY: Starship Rangers! I need the Starship Rangers!