Monty Python - Travel Agent Sketch

From Monty Python's Flying Circus - Episode 31. Featuring Michael Palin, Eric Idle & Carol Cleveland. Original Broadcast Date: Nov. 16, 1972.

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Closed Caption:

Mount Everest for being aloof terrifying
the highest place on earth
no I'm sorry we don't go there Oh money
you want to go upstairs
what do you want to go upstairs
I have you come to reach holiday to
arrange a holiday up
sorry
what's all this about going upstairs
nothing nothing not where you think you
feeling
india ah what if I bet your holiday yes
well you gotta speak to mr. bound about
that mr. Banda this gentleman is
interested in the india over that
haha morning I'm bounder of adventure
morning I smoke too much
my name is smoked too much mr. smoke too
much
well everybody cut out of it that what
you got down with that always see I cut
down a bit for smoke too much
yes haha i bet you get people in general
by the name of the diamond know
actually never stopped me before too
much haha
anyway you're interested in one of our
adventure holidays and yes I saw your
advert in the butler supplement the ball
or something because something is I'm
sorry I can't say the letter B
yes that's right
withdrawal i started when i was a
schoolboy that I was attacked by a
battery can know about and you say
there's a kick
oh yes kaki king kettle qat ball jokes
but the spell
follow with a que yes yes oh that's very
good i never thought of that
a favor like being on the package or
several times you see and I decided that
this was for me
oh good because it's like well it goes
beyond mean what's the point of being
treated like a sheep I'm gonna end up
going abroad being treated like shit
what's the point of being carted around
buses surrounded by sweating more than
those from kitchen and voluntary North
caption their cardigans and that strong
this the radios and their Sunday mirrors
been complaining about the tea or they
don't make it properly it may not like
it home stopping at Majorcan bday
against selling fish and chips and what
needs red barrel and calamari and two
veg sitting in cotton son from squirting
Timothy watch sun cream all over there
puffy war Harlan place because they
overdid it on the first day absolutely
yes like I'm being heard and end this
hotel miramar Bellevue's isn't bonded in
time for the international luxury modern
roommates and their what these red bow
on their swimming pools full of fat
german businessman pretending to be
acrobats informing parameters and
driving
the future if you're not a title spot on
seven
you missed a ball of campus cream of
mushroom soup the first item on the menu
of international cuisine
every 30 not this part right
tiny and may say d-day go with nine
inches and a big fat bloated top of that
building down a big ass and then
somebody might have an oil time is from
Birmingham with diarrhea flabby what
very badly like what weight is cool man
well and then once a week is an
excursion the local roman ruins where
you can buy cherry aid and melted ice
cream and bleed and what misread battle
to take you to a local restaurant with
local color and white coloring and they
tell you then you sit next to a party of
people from real people singing terrain
moline are started complaining about the
food now it's so greasy isn't it really
get cornered by some drunk and green
grocer from balloon with an Instamatic
and dr. Scholl samples any drugs on and
are mr. Smith should be running this
country
how many languages he not powerful
something completely throws up all over
the cubicle
and it in the post daughter places they
don't know they haven't even visited to
all at number twenty-two where the
wonderful our room marked with an X just
very greasy but we have managed to find
this marvelous little place in the way
in the back seat
get walking red background
the quality is placed like he go
thanks don't know this week but the dog
won't be segmented take it off the hook
and there's no way to sleep in the color
everything everything up on the personal
flowers ready to not only be anything
but you know you're interested in austin
. but for these
yes . now let's get you all talking
about
it's a man around . once loading into my
home town are you
as I have watching the talent award the
bowling ball field behind the moon
sit in the bead is the cops like us
right just he will do fine