When Is It Okay to Say the R-Word?

If you're still not sure when it's okay to say the R-word, maybe it's time to listen to the 6.5 million people who have intellectual disabilities in the United States alone.

Hosted by:
Elizabeth Plank

Produced by:
Regina Dellea
Billy Disney
Sam Thonis

Special thanks to CO/LAB Theater Group
www.colabtheatergroup.com

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Closed Caption:

Liz: We need to talk about the R word.
When people use the R word, it's usually not to
describe someone who has a disability,
it's used to describe someone who is
inadequate...
Kourtney: Your daughter Khloe is retarded at directions
Liz: Something that doesn't function correctly...
Tosh.0: think that transformers retarded.
[Audience laughter]
Liz: Something that's crazy.
Iggy: My flow retarded, each beat dear, departed
Liz: Or something that kids, you know, just say.
Mom: It's really common with our kids and stuff
it's just like when they throw out the line "oh that's so gay"
Liz: We hear this line of thinking all the time
but how does it hold up when presented
to people who are actually affected by disabilities?
[ music ]
Liz: This is Paul. Paul is a young man
from Brooklyn who has Down syndrome
And this is Paul's mom, Margaret.
Liz: So you're obviously very sensitive
about people using the R word because your son has Down syndrome
but you know that when people are using the word
the R word, you know, they're not talking about your son directly.
Margaret: Well no, they're not talking about my son directly,
but when they use the R word, it's in a very negative way
it's used to to make fun of people, to
ridicule
so it's hurtful.
LIz: But it's just a harmless saying. It's like, "that's so gay"
Margaret: But it's not a harmless saying. I mean my son is Down syndrome and he's gay.
Both those things would be hurtful and
disrespectful to him.
Liz: Paul's family made an effort not to label their son.
As a result, he's been able to identify
himself on his own terms
Liz: So, how's it going?
Paul: I'm fabulous, you?
Liz: I'm good
Liz: Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
Paul: Well, I am homosexual.
Liz: Mhmm
Paul: And I feel fabulous about it.
Liz: Paul has been able to live a rich life, full of music,
Paul: One of my favorite hobbies is karaoke
Liz: crushes,
Paul: One of my favorite actors is Darren Chris
I have a crush on him.
Liz: Oh you do??
Paul: Yes!
Liz: dreams,
Paul: I wanna be a pop culture TV star
Liz: Are you born to be a star?
Paul: Always
Liz: and thanks to the support of his family, he doesn't let his disability define him.
Margaret: my son was encouraged to do whatever he could do.
He's very passionate about life, and about
what he wants to do with his life. And he
goes about doing it.
Paul: I'm a brooklyn diva.
Paul: If you want to come out, and express yourself, it's okay to be different.
Liz: Did you always find it easy to be different? Or sometimes is it hard?
Paul: It's not that hard. Just, it felt great.
I feel powerful.
Liz: Clearly Paul is anything but inadequate, or crazy,
or any of the other negative things we
associate with the R word.
And yet, when we use the word as an insult it's hard to claim were not referencing people like him.
intellectual disabilities are still the
number one thing associated with the R word
and if you spend time with any of the
six and a half million people living
with intellectual disabilities, or their
families, it's clear that they're not
comfortable with how casually the word
is used in our culture.
John Franklin Stevens: Why are you constantly using a word
like the r word as an insult?
Lauren Potter: The R word is a hateful word.
Jessica: It made me feel like I wasn't comparable to what other people could do.
And I never want to hear that word again.
Margaret: That's my concern with use of the R word,
people with developmental disabilities
have feelings, they can be hurt, and you
need to just
maybe get to know them. Go out and learn for yourself.
Liz: so when is it okay to use the R word?
If you stop and think about the implications of the word, and what it means, and who it reaches,
it becomes easy to answer that question for yourself.
Never.