DUI? ASTHMA and the BREATHALYZER

patient encounter; looking for a get out of jail free card. Nice thought poor follow through.

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Closed Caption:

hello mister O'Toole's welcome to the
emergency department
my name is doctor Jones what brings you
in tonight
you know it what up bro are you a doctor
that right
stock turning out
I am a medical
her and yes sometimes I write medical
excuse notes when they are clinically
indicated
good because I needs one knows real bad
are you supposed to be at work tomorrow
hot nah man I don't work
are you disabled
just mabel death much fat
never
find forget
I asked you look very cap a ble know
when big busty no caps in my ass
I V for meal know what I mean
mister
tools please tell
me how I can help you I got the asthma
disease and had a chest pad when I was
standing in my lung
and it makes me not to read too good you
are having difficulty breathing
no not now last week discuss where in
front of me
it made me crash my Escalade into a tree
and the bastards kept driving so I was
walking home minding my biz
and this pretty pink up stop me and gets
all mad cuz I left my smashed at prime
are you injured from the accident hear
me out
the cap start seeing I got to do one
ever knows alcohol breed jesters
I tell him no way I did not crash cuz
alcohol
it was a shitty cock dancewear
confronted me
I see go on
he won't be believing me saying I was
not cooperating
than my as Nick got real bad I think us
the airbag
sp on my face I was honored as you know
and could not catch my breath I tried
that left chest
that it wouldn't work I be trying to
breed at my mom's not cooperating
as you got me real bad they need an
arrest me
said I had a video ice at bay not my
fault
I C my lawyer said I need a message from
you saying my
as Miss stops me from doing breath tests
but Sir
I wasn't there that night you are
breathing perfectly well now
perhaps your regular doctor or
pulmonologist who knows your underlying
condition better than I do could help
you
I don't have a doctor
who prescribed the medications for your
Asma why would I need medications
to improve your Asmar
lou and when did they diagnose you with
Asma my mama
ever since I was born I had it mister
O'Toole's I'm afraid I could not write
you the medical note you are looking for
what why not I bet you are not a real
doctor
30 p.m. the DPD bleep bleep expletive
plea E
your mother
that is not appropriate sir settle down
the evening gown but eat your face
the EPS emergency room expletive you an
expletive meet white coat
the EPA deeply deeply deeply deeply
deeply eat
security security police escort missed a
row does to the door
he has a long walk ahead of him my
bleeping lawyer is going to be believing
see all your Lehi
message delete your mother's leaping out
leaped up bitches sleep in long time
late mother bleeping and Lehi
doctor peace out