DR. ALAN PROBE! | Amateur Surgeon

One second I'm a pizza guy, the next a master surgeon!! WATCH ME WORK!

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Outro animation by the amazingly talented James Farr:
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Outro Song created by "Teknoaxe". It's called "I'm everywhere" and you can listen to it here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPtNBw...

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Closed Caption:

- my name is jacksepticeye and welcome
to amateur surgeon it's time for these
magic fingers to go back to work in the
ER now
some people are suggesting this a while
ago and I thought it was the surgeon
games they did already I thought they'd
just seen it somewhere else like Jack
you should play these things like
already played though I didn't know as a
separate game on its own so glad i found
it and got actually searched and so it
was
they've really weird mouths I don't know
what I'm let's just get in I am
are you sure your current progress we
lost I didn't start the game
I didn't do anything ok eat your pizza
ate your pizza
hfh suppose they're gonna crash dude
you're not even looking at porn or
anything
dude don't care from
he'll Alan rope
haha an underground violent probe is
anal probe
dr. Ignatius bleed disgrace surgeon
favor aint dead person
yep haha good way to take over surgery
now because I killed him
I'm not dead I quickly you have to cut
me open
I'm sorry I'm just delivering pizza I
got a pizza called her and that's it
don't put your animal Oregon horror
that's that's it you just running down
the street you you take out your pizza
cutter and you cut them open
fuck's sake okay there you go that's
going to put your bones back in place
would have fucked these bones go
this is I am I'm a painter guy that
looks right right
put it in put a fuck fuck put it in put
some bones in the ball is in the right
place
I do I get the bones to just state the
army out there we are all ok there we go
if I know my bones and I don't cause
them to pieces and every person then
you're all fixed your board back to
normal and everything
what the fuck are we using thank you
that's much better now we just need to
close me up
would you happen to I don't fucking know
there you go
you're fine just feeling for the focus
staples very nice few always there
now take the later and carburetors wound
there we go i just burned a hole in you
that wasn't fun but you are doing
extremely well do it will give you some
of this
there you go you make flubber faxed it
that's all it takes
if your pizza delivery guy ever knocks
you down the middle of the street and
breaks all of your shit just trying to
take on his Pizza quarters and put
everything back together
my name is Ignatius bleed you really
lift up your name a few minutes ago can
you teach me that
how to surgery teeth surgery i I
couldn't not again
you just fucking date why not I got a
bunch of me
we got a bunch more tools & vine and the
pool table over there to scream
operation
I don't know what does we'll just go
straight up
Creighton ok and I brain washed up old
tramp and if it's a boy
crash mission complete
from from bases in every person to dr.
in no time
and coming up in the world right let's
move on I got a neon that
how dare he but there was a great
surgery be four excellent the time taken
for graceful 'he's just straight
breaking
hello mr. Berger falls through the
winter stranger our think the clinic
yeah good luck with a specialist glass
extraction make a sadistic bastard
oh do you are messed up can we fix your
teeth as well
ok do this but oh oh ok
hey go Oh slide it on out what am i
hoping this guy straight to rob our
asses skunk
you're just like you're just like a
project for school
just stay put it all together I just
fill you full of staples there you go
you're like you're like a stationary
shelves in place
sorry sorry I don't do it but burn your
nips
there you go there you go it's anyone
i'm going to do bad knee surgeries Oh
God heart rate way down the pain away
jump it looks likes gone
it looks our guide lu lu up your nipples
there you go fun fun
you're safe thank you have to do some of
these oh no oh no no no
throw your shit is all messed up you've
glass glass in your lungs
how are you alive right now I can I eat
like stick stick stuff in you and make
you feel better
I'm going to stay put your lungs how do
you feel about that
that seems like a good idea there we go
you have your hearts going down
no no don't you die on me don't you die
on me
not today
no no Tommy one
we're almost there is that I don't you
die on Mary Ellen
fuck okay I can do this time Oh
sexalicious oh sexy boys always right
staples for days
there you go all stapled up all nice
burn the witch burn to ash and bone
there you go where you be put at me
there we go i like the way the later
actually sounds like a Bunsen burner
done safe
oh wow they do I recognize you
that was never your pizza me no no I'm
sure you couldn't
there was a doctor and got himself into
a heap of trouble a few years back
lots of unexplained deaths then he just
disappeared
thank you gonna get hit haha
then there was a true what he said
you're a doctor
no I mean I I used to now i'm just a big
long headed man can you teach me how to
cut
I mean that people all right Alan
but we may have to improvise with the
tools a little mission complete
yes patient grace holes how do i see
thats class
I did good I know how I could do any
better considering I did everything you
asked me to
we had to go work on Cletus maybe he got
a bit of a cornstarch Tucker stands
teeth
oh no he just has a raccoon stuck in his
chest
hey can you guys how about a friend
what their brick you played his
hillbilly stuck in its ass
I went to wear be good this year prickle
pig but don't fell on it instead because
i don't have good brains and see ch
ok where did he go now he's not on your
chest and more ok
is this just the same stuff over and
over again the fuck is this not a drill
Jimmy people at me already Christ I got
a real doctor in a pizza delivery man
we're a biologist at the staple this
nope just burned a hole in you that mean
you're going to be super easy
you don't have to do this don't tell me
you have some of the stuff stuck in your
penis
I don't want to surgery right on that
rubbing gel on a patient will improve
their heart rate but a drag but this is
in a dress that case the corkscrew
should do the trick
courtroom was corkscrew do
oh ok are you going to cut this open
then what am i doing
oh he's more poor little pickles there
we go are you okay I fucking knew your
one care for me
no not today they're your dog your fixed
except the staple up your fuckin sites
I'm burn burn burn to return to your way
into the burn clock
then what do you have so much fuckin
porcupine things in yet quite tough
fucking dying me and fucking
there you go you're fucking you like
that don't you bitch
there you go fucking clean as sort of a
bitch no I don't care
good click and hold the mouse and the
body follow the red box
oh ok so this and then like this
I made ya gonna do it again
you're at 35 now what would you go up to
40 fight
sure i might as well be cooking my dad
isn't here we fucking go
alright Cletus are you ready to be
better than you ever were before I
didn't do nothing wrong man
surgery sure is a fucking snooze fest
going to burn holes in your whatever
this is I'm gonna say this is a pancreas
i I don't know why I just it just feels
like a pancreas the name of that sort of
pancreas feel about it
also pancreas is a fun word to say
pancreas
here we go it also makes no more sense
hey if you ever done that when you say
we're too many times it just makes more
sense just like your name and one more
Cletus what are you going to are they
stuck in your heart
really now here we go I'll inject this
straight into your heart
here we go that power of love there we
go all your all he'll accept that makes
more wounds actually could ever
ah yeah I had a feeling I had to stay .
of that
there we go all fixed connector stable
the porcupine pins and yet they got
super powers are you getting more wounds
as I fix you but it's not on your heart
doesn't just suddenly we can collapse
and open up
are you fixed now please tell me you're
fixed now if you are not fixed
I was stabbed you in the chest with a
corkscrew
i can do it i have the power finally
hey that was pretty good thanks kindly
so are you really the renegade dr. that
burger was talking about before
don't you just love how he was like no I
can teach you how to be a surgeon and
suddenly people just start showing up
like what if you are teaching me to be a
search all these people just clean break
into your place at no I clearly showed
up with a fucking raccoon in his chest
even though the porcupine shut up Alan
you have some real talent
I will continue to train you if that's
what you want it's what I've always
wanted
I actually read a book about doctors in
the in the thing and that's what made
him driving to him
I am a tiger but I don't want to do some
of my condition that we do not talk
about my past
it isn't it is uneventful and
uninteresting I assure you
yeah all those killings are so
uneventful ok you're the bar stock
mission complete well they get on him
I see as well not doing too bad k we
move on to part
what were you drinking I heard you boys
resurgence of acclaimed good glug glug
hello are you drinking paint this is a
student on the can and I means a big fat
payout from the paint company so goes
for the nail gun maker who didn't
mention i should shoot myself in the
chest
what is in your head you're fucking
moron I don't want to do anything to you
you're missing fingers insurance fraud
Claude
haha ok blam blam
Lizzie glam slam slam blister burn app
about the Florida up here we go
everybody's getting along granted start
the wrong area
it's the right area and burn your
nipples if you're not fucking careful
I burn your testes Oh God so it's like
right there it's right there it's oh yes
and there's another one there
I'm fucking amazing oh yeah I'm not
pulling them up fast and i put about
fast as she said oh there we go see if
you didn't stick nails in your fucking
chest
we wouldn't be here would we no but you
had to be a big or pilot dorm when they
were handing out smart at the shop that
day you were down in the fucking I'll
eating ice cream weren't you
yeah cap alania ice cream is delicious
staple staple staple staple staple stay
safe good God unions are sorry that's
not a steep anyone
you're a stately one here you go these
are all the birds
oh yes what's wrong with him
I there there are no more wounds but it
here
I just gently up everywhere what we do
oh oh oh
give me a prompt or something for fuck's
sake you can't just do that there you're
fine i way I do it again
these create wounds as well oh good god
and fighting an uphill battle here
sorry me too my bad
I was only trying to get really were
trying to be cool to try to do it all in
one go there and there
what
watch ran out of time
oh just suck on my balls
I'm gonna leave this video and amateur
surgeon here this I'm not doing that
stupid eye surgery again
he pissed me off he's stupid and screw
driver and his head drink and paint
motherfucker
and a lot of the surgeries are very very
very similar like all weather over the
first four they did were all incredibly
similar and it kind of gets a bit
repetitive so i don't know if i'm going
to continue on
I mean let me know if you guys want to
see more but i do more if people want to
see more of it but for now I think I'm
just probably going to leave it at that
I'm and I thank you for the suggestion
anyway it's always nice to have
suggestions and going off and play new
games and finding new things and see
what they're like and it's always nice
to have right here on the channel for
you guys to watch and for me
just just like not get bored of whatever
I'm doing anyway thank you guys so much
for watching this video if you like that
right start button and face the leg up
boys and i was wrong i wish to thank you
guys
it was sailing notes are not like too
bad
yeah
we start the operation
make an X a james / fucking mouth we're
going to catch mice
to check the house of the jaw bone
surrounding the chicken a la worm