THE CLUB PROMOTER FROM HELL | STORYTIME

OPEN ME


WATCH MY "PLANE RIDE FROM HELL" VIDEO:
https://goo.gl/5oHI3h

WATCH MY "BUS RIDE FROM HELL" VIDEO:
https://goo.gl/NeBXPB

MY PO BOX:
3729 E 1ST ST
#63095
LOS ANGELES, CA 90063

FOLLOW ME:
Twitter: http://goo.gl/V0Kz8B
Instagram: http://goo.gl/AbBG1W
Snapchat: jessi.smiles

---

Closed Caption:

hey guys nobody make a conscious effort
to spend a little bit of extra time on
your makeup and you're like wow this
looks really good but by the time it
comes to your hair and your alpha you're
like fuck it
same i don't know what's happening here
but it's happening so we just got
accepted you read the title
this is a story about the fucking club
promoter from hell I think the bus ride
from hell years ago and the plane ride
from home not too long ago and i'm going
to link those below but now it's time to
talk about who's Devon you may ask the
club promoter obviously I mean did you
really not you're going to get that in
this story i'm going to be using the
guy's real name his real place of
employment and my friend rachel's real
me
I asked rachel for permission to use her
name but I obviously did not ask devin
because fuck you Devon anyway let's get
started
so I don't go clubbing I mean I don't
you tell that but I'm going clubbing
it's nowhere near number one of my to-do
list ever not fun to me
nothing appealing about it but I want
now looking back it's actually really
funny because i remember my friend
Rachel telling you she's like can you
imagine like tonight becomes a story
time I'm like yes I could imagine that
actually so Devon had been hitting my
friend Rachel out for quite some times
and she moved to Los Angeles from New
York she actually showed me the text
messages of him hitting her up and
saying OK like bring your girls like
let's just pass them battle it out of a
fucking shit promoters say that for the
record i am from miami florida okay i
know a lot of Club promoters I went to
high school with most of them I don't
know how it works okay to hit you up
there hey I bring your girls let's pop
bottles that's like a pretty common
thing to say if you're a club promoter
they want to bring girls they don't want
you to bring guys like I know the drill
which honestly it's kind of sexist but
I mean we shut our fucking uterine walls
once a month so can we just have this
one had ever had been hitting Rachel for
a while now and telling her that she
needed to bring her girls and that he
was in together into one
ok you don't know what 100 cases it's a
fucking overpriced shit hole seriously
it's honestly nothing special it's a
fucking for wall piece of shit place
where people drink
look at each other but honestly I don't
mind bars or clubs as long as there's
good fucking music playing if you're
playing my jam I don't care for a broom
closet
ok i'm giving that shit five stars on
Yelp but one oak is not special it's
like made out to be special there's like
lines outside knowledge shift button
lets go save you the trouble is not
special so Rachel reaches out to me and
she's like a girl want to go to a club
and I'm like that really
let's do it I was damned fucking weird
okay i like to stay home most of the
time but then sometimes randomly I'll
just convince myself to go out of the
house and do something that I'm sure i'm
not going to like what I'm just like
yeah fuck it so this is one of those
times was a young girl club right up my
alley
if I go over to rachel's house and we
start pregaming with four loko wage
although they improved their formula
ten out of ten was still not recommend
you start drinking four loko then we're
like Oh Devon said to be there by 10 so
we need to get the fuck out of here do
we chatted before logos and then get in
the lift
no fucking absolutely not not that shit
of Rachel's person drinking on the way
it wasn't until we were already like
halfway to the club that I thought to
ask rachel like also like how do you
mean Devon she told me she had never met
him a person but that a friend of hers
has and she said that the friend said he
was good people are like yeah gonna have
been she showed me all the text messages
of him asking her to come out and it was
a good amount of text messages ok this
guy was like very eager to see her to
the point where I was like is he like
interested in you which is like no I
don't know I think maybe you just want
like girls and he knows I know girls
maybe that's what you want now here's
what i was expecting to happen club
promoters in Miami if they invite you
out of things to bring your girls that
means you're going to get your bottle
service
no fucking doubt
got it Devon's text messages to Rachel
or like oh I've got shoot
bring your girls tattoo you probably
already guess where this fucking stories
go
he told Rachel that he was eating dinner
across the street with some friends he
invited Rachel to eat some dinner across
the street with fucking friends so right
there tells you it's like it's not this
guy who's just like oh fuck i just want
girls to be in the club it's this guy
who considers her friend or someone
that's interested in her
whatever the case may be she declined
because she was like I feel like that's
gonna be kind of awkward and I was like
thank God and so we actually went to her
roommates bar so her roommate is a
bartender not the owner of the bar I
don't know why I said roommates bar but
whatever her roommate bartends at a bar
that's like a block away from 10 so we
were taking shots we were laughing
having a good time basically just like
wasting time until devon was done with
dinner
it was done dinner done dinner done
dinner
I don't know what he said but he
insinuated that we should start heading
over so we did we go outside of 10 and
were like hey we're here
no response mind you this isn't just a
club that you get into ok
fucking stupid there's lines of people
for no fucking reason cuz there's plenty
of room in the club we didn't want that
time to go to waste so we're just like
sitting outside and were like yeah let's
just pull out these four lokos from your
person finish them we didn't actually
get to finish them because by the time
you have this much left of the four
local you're not okay
you're like not doing well so we're
sitting outside we're drinking our for
logo and rachel is texting Devon's but
hey where are you and he's like at
dinner
LOL so shit like that like double what
the fuck you told us to come here
now we are here why are you so annoying
we have a waiting like 30 i want to say
definitely over 30 minutes it felt like
forever
finally by the grace of Jesus Devon
shows up
it didn't come from dinner he came from
inside the fucking Club what we're doing
this entire time doesn't he looks
completely uninterested and completely
shot like that we were there is just
like hi hi Devon
fucking remember us you don't have to
remember me with your least fucking
remember Rachel right after i said hi to
him
I'm saw the look on his face belt is
vibe I was like I'm just gonna hang back
and let Rachel talk to him I let Rachel
do all that shit I just sit back like
this isn't gonna end well
my gym your book while dressed we're
both wearing heels this is a fancy Club
we were dressed appropriately like i
didn't understand what was happening but
he looked at us like we fucking showed
up in basketball shorts and sports girls
I don't have his attitude even have
anything to do with how we were dressed
he's just such a fucking asshole
I was like you know what just for being
a bit harsh maybe that's just the way
Devon is that was a great Jesse just
given a chance so Devin pulls the
fucking bullshit velvet ropes that holds
all the fucking girls back that had the
audacity to bring their boyfriends and
I'm not gonna lie i had like a little
diva moment I was just like looking at
everyone in the line like oh my god like
it sucks to be you
so we go up to the balancer and we show
our ids now I have a Florida ID so
thoroughly confusing the fuck out of
every bouncer in California every time
they get it over with
well forgive people on the internet
thing I'm 45 you really don't think of
21 I wish I could tell you that we got
in and followed up into the VIP table we
were promised and just have a fucking
amazing night but can that would be
impossible considering the fact that
doesn't disappear
he fucking banished right when we walked
in and I noticed that he had left
I looked at rachels like son of a
fucking bitch and she's like no no no
he's totally like I just tax them like
they got this
I was like all right girl but I'm
telling you none of the fucking beach we
passed the bar and go to the bathroom
because if there's one thing I'm not a
fucking do in a club spend money on
alcohol
that's why you got your before and maybe
step on a beer while you're there
fucking pain you $45 for a charity so we
go to the bathroom and she's texting him
like a where are you we got no response
and I was fucking pissed I got ready and
went to Ray's house we looked at their
we waited for him or an hour in total if
you count where we went to the bar
before and then we're going to yours
shitty fucking Club the one that you've
practically got on your knees and sucked
Rachel's fucking asshole to try and get
her to come to now we're here and you're
gonna leave us in a fucking corner no no
you're not comin
no you're not and she texted him like
two more times like Hello we're waiting
he says LOL i'm on the VIP table to the
right
I mean rates are like oh cool ok we'll
just go meet i'm not a big deal we have
been ordered and drinks yet so it's time
we were really upset at first but then
I'm like you know what maybe he's just
busy it's like a really busy night
fucking protein club fucking hardest job
in the world
well maybe it just got busy let's just
go meet him at his table we go to the
tables on the right of the club mind you
there's only like three
we try to walk over we have so much hope
in our hearts so much love and we see a
big ass fucking balance or blocking the
VIP area but you know I mean Rachel we
weren't face don't worry we not Devon
she marches up to the balancer and she's
like I need to go see and meet up with
my friend Devin and he's like no sorry
you can't do that and she's like fuck
but either way we glance over and we
noticed know Devin's not fucking there
in any of those three tables were like
okay maybe Devon is like a little bit
stupid and maybe he meant the left of
the club all right we make our way over
to the left of the club were like yes
I'm gonna be fucking awesome
but no Devon wasn't there either you
know what I mean maybe the fucking
trouble Devon wasn't anywhere
conspiracy theory time I am convinced
that Devin's not even a real fucking
person i'm convinced that he was a robot
hired by 10 to bring girls in the club
we ended up actually staying in the bar
for like 20 minutes and got a few drinks
fucking nine dollars for a corona is
your fucking corona come with a
chihuahua and honestly I don't want this
to come across as like I have an issue
going out and buying my own drinks I
think the thing I was most upset about
is just fucking little humble above a
person lied to us to get us to the club
I'm sure he's done this other people
you'd like to get in the club and then
once we were in there he purposefully
ditched us so that the club could have
more girls but it wouldn't be on the
club's dollar over problem by
have a fucking drink ok but i do have a
problem with little fucking Neanderthals
forcing me into their shit storm of a
club and then pulling the plug in
houdini fuck you Devon
fuck you I think really hope that fuck
you Devon becomes a trending worldwide
hashtag on twitter that way Devon can
just be like innocently scrolling the
web and be like fuck you don't know i
got like that's my name let's see what
this is about that he clicks on it and
it fucking ruin his day
this story is fucking ridiculous I agree
but i had to get my fucking justice
anyway that's all for today's video
thank you guys so much for watching
please subscribe to my channel I put out
videos every tuesday and saturday and i
will see you on Saturday by generally
don't like a maid outfit and walking it
Oh Saudi mr. people excuse me when I
clean your third right nice off your
pledge