The Clinton Foundation Email Scandal: Is It A Thing?

Stephen breaks out The Late Show's Thing-O-Meter to test whether Hillary Clinton's latest email scandal is really a thing, or not.

Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: http://bit.ly/ColbertYouTube
For more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: http://bit.ly/1AKISnR
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: http://bit.ly/1Puei40
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: http://on.fb.me/1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: http://bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: http://bit.ly/1JlGgzw
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: http://bit.ly/29wfREj
Follow "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: http://bit.ly/29DVvtR

Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.

Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE: http://bit.ly/12rLxge

Get new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! http://bit.ly/1OQA29B

---
Stephen Colbert took over as host of The Late Show on Tuesday, Sept. 8, 2015. Colbert is best known for his work as a television host, writer, actor, and producer, and best known for his charity work teaching English as a second language on Tunisian date farms. Prior to joining the CBS family -- and being officially adopted by network president Les Moonves -- Colbert helmed “The Colbert Report,” which aired nearly 1,500 episodes and required Stephen to wear nearly 1,500 different neckties. The program received two Peabody Awards, two Grammy Awards, and several unwelcome shoulder massages. It won two Emmys for Outstanding Variety Series in 2013 and 2014, both of which appear to have been lost in the move. Colbert is pronounced koʊlˈbɛər, according to Wikipedia. His understudy is William Cavanaugh, who will be hosting The Late Show approximately one third of the time. Good luck, Bill!"

---

Closed Caption:

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
BEFORE THE COMMERCIAL BREAK,
WHICH I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED, WE
WERE TALKING ABOUT THE INTERNET
CONSPIRACY THEORY THAT HILLARY
CLINTON IS SUFFERING FROM BRAIN
DAMAGE.
WHAT IS STILL "EMBUNKED" IS
HILLARY CLINTON AND HER EMAILS.
YESTERDAY, IT CAME OUT THAT THE
F.B.I. HAS UNCOVERED 15,000
MORE PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN EMAILS
FROM HER PRIVATE SERVER.
THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
I HAVE THOUSANDS OF UNREAD
EMAILS IN MY OWN INBOX.
NOW I HAVE TO READ 15,000 OF
HERS?
BY THE WAY-- AND I MEAN THIS
INSERIOUS-- match.com, THANK
YOU FOR SENDING ME ALL THOSE
PROFILES OF AVAILABLE AFRICAN
AMERICAN WOMEN IN THEIR 40s FROM
THE CAPE GIRARDEAUX AREA OF
MISSOURI, BUT I'M GOOD.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
MY KIDS THOUGHT MY WIFE AND I
WOULD BE A GOOD MATCH ON
match.com AND SAID WHY DON'T WE
SIGN YOU UP FOR match.com
SEPARATELY TO SEE IF THE
COMPUTERS WOULD MATCH YOU
BECAUSE WE THINK THEY WOULD
MATCH YOU.
I TOLD THEM, DO NOT DO THAT.
I DO NOT WANT ANYBODY REPORTING
THAT STEPHEN COLBERT SIGNED UP
FOR match.com.
THEY SAID THEY DIDN'T, BUT I
HAVE STARTED RECEIVING E-MAILS
FROM match.com THAT FOR SOME
REASON ARE SENDING ME MID-40s,
VERY FRIENDLY LOOKING
FULL-FIGURED SISTERS.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH!
HEY!
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
AND ASKING ME TO HOLLA-BACK.
( APPLAUSE )
I'M FLATTERED.
I UNDERSTAND THE APPEAL.
BUT THANK YOU BUT NO THANK YOU.
NOW, WHERE WAS I?
WHERE WAS I?
HILLARY CLINTON.
HILLARY CLINTON.
NOW HERE'S THE DEAL WITH HILLARY
AND THE E-MAILS.
THERE ARE SO MANY OF THESE
HILLARY EMAILS THAT THE STATE
DEPARTMENT SAYS THEY'LL BE
PUTTING THEM OUT IN BATCHES,
WITH THE THE FINAL BATCH
SCHEDULED TO BE RELEASED.
FOUR DAYS BEFORE ELECTION DAY.
AND ELECTION DAY BY MY
CALCULATIONS IS STILL-- LET'S
SEE--
( LAUGHTER )
A REASON TO DRINK.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
BUT THERE'S ACTUALLY ANOTHER
'NOTHER NEW BATCH OF CLINTON
EMAILS.
AND THESE ARE ONES ABOUT HER
TIES TO DONORS AT THE CLINTON
FOUNDATION, WHICH IS A CHARITY
SET UP TO DISTRIBUTE AID AROUND
THE WORLD, AND JUST AS
IMPORTANTLY, TO KEEP BILL
CLINTON BUSY ENOUGH THAT HE
DOESN'T SPEND ALL DAY TRYING TO
GET SECRET SERVICE TO GO TO
HOOTERS WITH HIM.
THEY GOT CLAM STRIPS.
THEY GOT CLAM STRIPS.
DELICIOUS.
AND THESE EMAILS SHOW HOW THE
FOUNDATION'S DONORS SOMETIMES
GOT ACCESS TO CLINTON WHILE SHE
WAS SECRETARY OF STATE.
SOUNDS SHADY.
BUT WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS
SURROUNDING ALL OF THESE EMAILS,
IT'S HARD TO TELL WHAT'S REALLY
A THING AND WHAT'S NOTHING AT
ALL.
SO TO FIGURE IT OUT, LET'S BRING
OUT THE LATE SHOW'S
THING-O-METER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OKAY, OKAY.
THIS IS THE THING-O-METER.
IT SHOWS HOW STUFF RATES ON A
SCALE OF "THING," TO "NOT A
THING."
FOR EXAMPLE, OVER HERE AT
"THING," YOU HAVE
IGNEOUS ROCK.
CLEARLY A "THING."
AND WE KNOW ROCKS ARE A THING
BECAUSE ROCKS ARE WHAT THE THING
IS MADE OUT OF.
HERE IN THE MIDDLE IS "MAYBE A
THING," REPRESENTED BY
HIDDLESWIFT, WHICH MAY BE A
THING, BUT I ALSO HEAR IS NOT A
THING.
HONESTLY, WHO KNOWS?
STAY SAFE, YOU GUYS.
NOW, AND OVER HERE IS "NOT A
THING," REPRESENTED BY MIKE
PENCE MANIA, WHERE TEENS TAKE
PICTURES OF THEMSELVES DRESSED
AS MIKE PENCE.
WHICH, I PROMISE YOU, IS NOT A
THING.
YET, YET.
SO LET'S RESET THE
THING-O-METER, AND LET'S FIND
OUT IF THE CLINTON
FOUNDATION SCANDAL IS REALLY A
THING.
HERE'S WHAT CAME OUT IN THE
EMAILS.
FIRST, THEY SHOW TIES TO A
CHARISMATIC, POWER-HUNGRY
INTERNATIONAL LEADER: BONO.
HE'S A CLINTON FOUNDATION DONOR,
AND HE GOT THEM TO SEND AN EMAIL
TO SECRETARY CLINTON'S TOP AIDE
HUMA ABEDIN, REQUESTING A
"LINKUP WITH THE INTERNATIONAL
SPACE STATION ON EVERY SHOW
DURING THE TOUR THIS YEAR.
ANY IDEAS?"
( LAUGHTER )
CLINTON'S STAFF WROTE BACK, "NO
CLUE."
( APPLAUSE )
IN OTHER WORDS, HE STILL HASN'T
FOUND WHAT HE'S LOOKING FOR.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NO, OKAY.
SO I'M GOING TO SAY-- I'M GOING
TO SAY NOT A THING.
NOW LET'S RESET AGAIN.
LET'S RESET AGAIN.
SO WHAT ELSE WAS IN THESE
EMAILS?
A REQUEST CAME TO THE FOUNDATION
FOR SECRETARY CLINTON TO MEET
WITH ANOTHER MAJOR DONOR, THE
CROWN PRINCE OF BAHRAIN.
AND THIS TIME, HE GOT A MEETING.
ANYONE CAN SEE THAT LOOKS BAD--
DOESN'T TAKE A BAH-RAIN SURGEON
OR FOR THAT MATTER A ROCKET
SCIENTIST.
THOUGH IF YOU ARE A ROCKET
SCIENTIST, COULD YOU PLEASE GET
IN TOUCH WITH BONO?
( LAUGHTER )
BUT THIS MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY BE
A THING, BECAUSE THE EMAILS ALSO
REVEAL THAT THE MEETING WAS
REQUESTED AND SET UP THROUGH
OFFICIAL CHANNELS.
WOW.
I AM IMPRESSED THAT THE PRINCE
OF BAHRAIN USED OFFICIAL STATE
DEPARTMENT COMMUNICATION
CHANNELS.
EVEN HILLARY CLINTON DIDN'T DO
THAT!
SO I'M GOING TO SAY-- I'M GOING
TO SAY BETWEEN MAYBE A THING AND
A THING.
WE RESET.
THE TECHNOLOGY BEHIND THIS IS SO
ADVANCED.
THE EMAILS ALSO SHOW A REQUEST
FROM A CLINTON FOUNDATION DONOR
TO GET A VISA FOR A BRITISH
SOCCER PLAYER WITH A CRIMINAL.
RECORD.
HOWEVER, THE VISA WAS NEVER
GRANTED.
SO I'M GOING TO SAY THIS, AS
WELL AS SOCCER, "NOT A THING."
( APPLAUSE )
NOW, ALL THESE REQUESTS WERE
BEING HANDLED BY HUMA ABEDIN.
AND I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY,
BETWEEN BEING HILLARY CLINTON'S
AIDE AND ANTHONY WEINER'S WIFE,
I DO NOT ENVY HER LIFESTYLE.
"I'M SO SICK OF THESE EMAILS.
LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON TWITTER!
OH GOD!"
THAT-- THAT IS DEFINITELY A
THING.
( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS )
( CHEERS )
AND-- NOW, HERE'S SOMETHING
ELSE-- I LOVE YOU.
AND HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE THAT
SEEMS LIKE A THING: SINCE THESE
EMAILS CAME OUT, BILL CLINTON
HAS ANNOUNCED THAT "THE
FOUNDATION WILL STOP ACCEPTING
CORPORATE AND FOREIGN DONATIONS
IF HILLARY CLINTON IS ELECTED."
SO MAYBE HILLARY'S TIES TO THE
CLINTON FOUNDATION ARE NOT A
THING.
BUT, CLEARLY, BILL CLINTON
THINKS THEY'RE A THING, WHICH...
IT'S KIND OF "A THING."
SO THE CLINTON FOUNDATION
SCANDAL LANDS RIGHT UP THERE AT
"MAYBE A THING," WHICH IS THE
SAME RANKING AS BALD GUYS WITH
PONYTAILS.
BECAUSE IT MAY NOT BE A CRIME,
BUT IT SURE DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.