Monty Python - Travel agent sketch & theory of the brontosaurus

Monty Python's Flying Circus - Episode 31. Featuring Michael Palin, Eric Idle, John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Carol Cleveland. Original broadcast date: Nov. 16, 1972.

---

Closed Caption:

Mount Everest for being aloof terrifying
the highest place on earth
no I'm sorry we don't go there
money do you want to go upstairs
what do you want to go upstairs I have
you come to reach holiday to arrange a
holiday
oh sorry what's all this about going
upstairs now
where do you think you've got india ah
what if I venture holiday
yes well you better speak to mr. bound
about that mr. Valda
this gentleman is interested in the
india over that yeah morning
I'm bounder of adventure morning smoke
too much
my name is smoked too much mr. smoke too
much
well everybody cut out about them what
about Darkman better always see are cut
down a bit for smoke too much
yes haha when you get people names might
enable the diamond know it
yeah
actually never stopped me before too
much haha
anyway you're interested in one of our
adventure holidays and yes I saw your
advert in the butler supplement the ball
or something
the color is I'm sorry I can't say the
letter B and C
yes that's right
withdraw my something when I was a
schoolboy that I was attacked by a
battery captain know about and you say
there's a kick
oh yes kaki king kettle qat ball Johnson
what I mean spell follow with a que
yes oh yes oh that's very good i never
thought of that
I'm beyond package store several times
you see and I decided that this was for
me
good because I quite agree with me I
mean what's the point of being treated
like a sheep I'm gonna end up going
abroad being treated like shit what's
the point of me Carter and buses
surrounded by sweaty more than those
from catching a bond tree north captain
their cardigans and that strong this the
radios and their Sunday mirrors been
complaining about the tea or they don't
make it properly it and they not like it
home stopping at Majorcan bday against
selling fish and chips and what is red
barrel and calamari and two veg sitting
in cotton son from squirting Timothy
white Sun cream all over there
puffy walls and place but they overdid
it on the first day absolutely as I got
my big heard it in this hotel mirror
margin Bellevue's isn't bonding in time
with the international luxury modern
roommates and their what these red bow
on their swimming pools full of fat
german businessman pretending to be
acrobats and forming parameters I'm
trying to use if you're not a table spot
on seven
mr. ball of campus cream of mushroom
soup the first item on the menu of
international cuisine and every 30 not
disappoint
tiny my safety day go with nine
Egyptians and a big fat bloated top with
the red building down a big ass and then
sorry might have an oil time is from
Birmingham with diarrhea flabby want
very badly late what way does cool man
well and then once a week is an
excursion the local roman ruins where
you can buy cherry aid and melted our
stream and bleed and what is red barrel
take you to a local restaurant with
local color and white coloring and they
tell you then you sit next to a party of
people from real people singing terrain
moline are started complaining about the
food out so greasy isn't it really get
going to buy some drunken greengrocer
from luton with an Instamatic and dr.
Scholl samples and he drags on and our
Smith should be running this country
how many languages he not powerful be
completely throws up all over the field
and it's in depo stars of places they
don't know they haven't even visited to
all at number twenty-two where the
wonderful our room marked with an X just
very greasy but we have managed to find
this marvelous little place in the way
in the back seat
now you can get weapons red bound
spike he go
yeah
that one
ok so it will be three feet from the
door you want me to take it off the hook
and there's no way to sleep in the color
of what we're doing everything up on the
person up now is really not a baby
anymore
well you know you're interested in
austin . please
yes I want to make you all the time
telegram for everybody following into my
home temperature are you
by watching the talent level in more
than walking on the moon when you're
always in the beat cops
you will do fine
i have with me tonight and I'll mrs. and
you have a new theory about the
brontosaurus
and can I just say it's for one moment
that i have a new theory about the
brontosaurus
what is it
the new theory
what is my theory that oh what is my
theory that it is well miss you may
we'll ask me what is my theory
I am asking
I word yes will Chris what is it that
you tease this theory of mine
well this is what it is my feeling that
i have that is to say which is mine is
mine
yes no I i know it's yours what is it
where this is
my theory that belongs to me
he's at once good
this is not good
the next thing I'm going to say is my
food ready
my theory by L brackets Miss Beckett's
this theory goes as follows and begins
now
all brontosauruses are seen that one in
a match much thicker in the middle and
then gonna get harder
that is my favorite of mine and belongs
to me and iron it and what it used to
that's it is it spot on
this theory of yours appears to hit the
nail on the head and its money
yes thank you very much for coming on to
the studio
thank you my pleasure increase next week
Britain's newest seen a lot of time
yes thank you about your eye . yesterday
and twisted
yes i think thats painted another very
after all my second theory
like all my Syrian amplitudes music with
my critics gang members are this second
theory which with the one that i have
said for the great i'm gerry is the iron
which a man who belong to me
the first time you get that dick values
yes this is okay with your dad
yeah
yes I got there is always bored with you
and the right you're sort of epidemic is
immediately the higher the guy that can
make it all the way along Tommy let's go
to feel like I think the whole country
where you should go back to have a risk
with my dad now
this computer
that time in class till about myself
start again